


a prince, a ghost: reborn

by valdera



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: Character Study, Gen, a little thing about N post confrontation and such
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 22:18:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17252405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valdera/pseuds/valdera
Summary: He has nowhere to go in the endless universe. He has become nothing and no one for all the right reasons, and now, N thinks the only thing left for him to do is disappear. He knows it is the right thing to do, but—His frayed tie to the world of other people has snapped. N is aware that the only place left is the void. He also is aware of his fear, which claws up through his throat and begs to find someone to keep him anchored. He just needs to be a person again.





	a prince, a ghost: reborn

After Ghetsis’s ashes have been scattered far and wide, N spots the Shadow Trio at the corners of his bedroom. With a Zekram nestled against his fingertips, they grow wary and afraid. _Humans_ , N thinks, disgusted. The nature of fear is so easy. The Shadow Trio may remain mysterious, but they have become predictable.

The castle is cold to his fingertips. Deadened by the disappearance of the Seven Sages, N can no longer snap the Shadow Trio to attention. It is strange, knowing that his status as a prince is truly only connected to their loyalty, and his past loyalty towards Ghetsis.

He is terrified to call Ghetsis his father, now. Always had been, even before, but had kept it hidden in the dark recesses of his mind, where the doubt that once grew has now sprung free.

But N is stronger than Ghetsis. Now has to be, but hopefully has always been, in his heart. Now that the ghost of Ghetsis haunts him in his waking hours and chokes him with cold hands during sleep, N is stronger. He comes to the realization when he wakes up in a cold sweat and finds the Shadow Trio staring at him, before he finds his shaky hands and voice calling his beloved Pokémon friends to battle.

In the dust of victory, N packs his bags and leaves.

The empty hallways greet him as he strides out of them. The forest is not much warmer. He releases his Pokémon as soon as he is deep enough, and they huddle close. In the midst of his journey he sniffles in the dark, wondering if his entire life has been built on the cornerstone of lies. _The outside world has corrupted you_ , Ghetsis had told him before leaving. _Now you are useless._

_Are you sad?_ his Pokémon ask. N pats them all on the head, and they nuzzle closer to him.

“I am not sad,” he says. “I am just lonely.” The Pokémon are his only family, and N understands them, but that night he selfishly feels as if they are not enough.

Everything is too quiet. N hates it. He keeps moving. The journey has never felt so long. He wonders if Team Plasma has a tracker on him. Then again, they’ve never seemed to bother with his disappearances. They probably knew N would run right back to them, after all.

He has nowhere to go in the endless universe. He has become nothing and no one for all the right reasons, and now, N thinks the only thing left for him to do is disappear. He knows it is the right thing to do, but—

His frayed tie to the world of other people has snapped. N is aware that the only place left is the void. He also is aware of his fear, which claws up through his throat and begs to find someone to keep him anchored. He just needs to be a person again.

N sighs. It is cold. It is dark. His father haunts him. He does not sleep.

 

* * *

 

He finds himself back in Nimbasa city. The colorful, flashing lights prove to be too much for him, especially when contrasted with the quiet of the desert. But here, cowering under the catastrophe of sound, N finds Ghetsis’s voice pleasurably quiet. He keeps his head down and marches past the bustling streets into the line for the Ferris wheel. The attendant greets him with a knowing smile. N clutches a Poké Ball close to his chest.

She says nothing, though. Just lets him pass through with more kindness in her eyes than Ghetsis’s whole body for his whole life. _I am just a prince_ , he thinks, settling in the seat and closing his eyes. _Nothing but a pawn._

He opens his eyes and finds Touya staring at him.

“What,” he says, and he does not grow red, but he grows nervous.

“Hey,” Touya says, with that bright, bright smile. _Hey, hey, hey_ , his Pokémon chorus, nestled within their Poké Balls. They are happy. Touya is happy. To—to see him? To see what? A disgraced, disillusioned prince, tucked against the corner of a slow-moving Ferris wheel, trapped within an eternity of embarrassment.

“Hello,” N says, dipping his head to avoid eye contact.

“I’ve missed you,” Touya says. “After... well, _that_ , you just... disappeared.”

His voice cracks, almost desperate. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I... I’m here almost every day, you know.”

“You?” N asks, bewildered enough that his voice echoes around the small space. He has never felt so loud.

“Aren’t you the champion?” N asks.

Touya laughs. “Kind of,” he says. “I... turned it down. I’m champion in name only. Spending my days locked up in a hall for battles... it does nothing for me.”

“So what are you doing?” N asks.

Touya smiles, far too kind. “I undo the damage that Team Plasma caused. I hunt down the Seven Sages. And... and I try, all the time, to find you.”

“Oh,” N says, biting his lip.

“I don’t mean to make you feel guilty,” Touya says, but N interrupts before he can finish that.

“No, please do,” N says. “I know I’ve made lots of trouble and ruined so many lives. I have to make it right.”

“Don’t do it alone,” Touya offers. “You can... do it with me.” They have reached the highest point of the Ferris wheel. N steals a glance outside. The sky is clear blue.

“Why do you care?”

Touya falters. “Because—”

“You have your own life,” N says, praying to keep his voice level. “Your own friends. Your own rivals. In the outside world—well, I have no one but you. And before, I had no one but Ghetsis. _Tell me the difference_.”

The Ferris wheel begins to move down. 

Touya pauses. The two of them sit there, Touya stuck deep in thought, N trembling with a maelstrom of emotions.

N knows that he needs to be a person before he can be a thing to someone. He knows that this is not the right way. But doing the rejecting still hurts. 

“I’m sorry,” Touya says finally, shaken. “I’d forgotten.”

“I’ll take my leave,” N says. He keeps himself cold and steely. This cannot end any other way.

“Okay,” Touya says, “okay.” N’s chest tightens. Then Touya looks straight at him and everything shatters.

“Remember that you are not alone,” he says. “If... if you ever want, you can find me.” He smiles. “We’re rivals, after all.”

It’s a sentence that strikes right at N’s heart. _Rivals_ , he thinks, cradling the possibility as gentle as he can. _Rivals._

“Okay?” Touya asks. Too kind. Too gentle. N needs to get away.

N nods. If he talks now, all his fears will spill out. He might just cry into Touya’s arms, and it’s that which he fears most of all.

They reach the bottom, and N gets off in measured steps. Touya tracks his every movement, face betraying nothing. He looks deceptively soft.

N allows himself one look back. Their gazes meet, and Touya nods. _Oh_ , N thinks, bordering on the edge of something like giddiness, _he knows. He understands._

He leaves Nimbasa city with a different set of ghosts haunting him.

In the desert, N buries the promise in his skin and sleeps.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment if you like!!! i love reading them all :)
> 
> if you want to hmu at tumblr, i am @ sonnets-of-beauty


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